I know I've been talking a ton about growing up here on the blog and those of you who are already grown-ups (I'm aware, that's a LOT of you), this is probably getting boring and repetitive. Or straight up pathetic. I still think that people my age, at least, and maybe other people, too, can relate. So if you can, please bare with me :)
I'm not watching the Oscars tonight. This is a decision I have spend most of my Sunday afternoon and night thinking about. And it is hard.
Every normal person would have thought about it like this.
Do I want to watch the Oscars tonight? - Yes! - Okay, let's do it.
- No! - Okay, then not.
For me the whole thing was a bit different. For me, the Oscars are actually super - duper important.
Or, as so many things lately, they were super important to me.
My obsession with Hollywood started at age 13. I would like to say it was my obsession with acting and the arts and I really like that stuff, too, but mostly, it was just an obsession about glamour, fame, pretty dresses and celebrity couples.
Watching the Oscars was such a huge thing for me, because of timezones. I actually had to get up at 2 AM in the morning, watched the show until the end (5AM), then went straight to the bathroom and kitchen to get ready for my day. It's on Sunday nights, so I had school the next morning.
My mom and I fought over it for two weeks, but eventually I won.
Another thing that made the Oscars a pretty big deal for me was that they were live. Which means, they weren't translated. Which means, I watched my first Oscars, excited and amazed by every little detail.
But I barely understood a word they were saying.
The last thing I want to say about my first Oscars was that today, five years later, I remember two things.
1) Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron sang part of a Highschool Musical song on stage.
2) Kate Winslet's Oscar speech
I was able to grasp most of the speech because she told a story in very simple words. She said that she had practised that speech with a shampoo bottle in front of the mirror since she was really little.
I was thirteen at the time and from then on, to this day, think of Kate Winslet and her shampoo bottle every single time I make a new wish or dream a new dream.
So, yes, the Oscars have been a pretty big deal for me. In the past couple of years, though, I have been getting out of bed only reluctantly to watch them. I started skipping the Red Carpet show, I skipped the ending. I checked my Emails while watching.
And tonight, as I was considering watching them this year like I had every year, I realized there was absolutely no reason to do it other than that I'd always done it and that I am hilariously supersititous and cannot let go of things. For the life of me, I can't.
But tonight I will. Because I might still have a slight interest in celebrities and glamour, but I have a bigger interest in running and books and Uni and having a career and falling in love.
I don't want to watch the Oscars anymore. And there might be a day again when I want to, honestly and truly, but right now I have absolutely no desire to miss a night's worth of sleep to watch an award show.
So, this is my goodbye for now, Oscars.
I am going to bed.
Now how about you? Do you find it easy to let go of things you "grow out of"? Do you feel like you're going to throw your entire personality away if you stop doing something you've always done? Let me know in the comments!